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Is Your Emotional Wake Sabotaging Your Success?

A glance or a wrong word can leave behind a damaging emotional wake. Are you using your leadership power wisely? Leaders often have far more power than they realize.

The emotional wake you leave behind when you leave a room or a conversation is a good indicator of the dent you are making in the universe!

Have you ever had someone rip the heart out of you, and they didn't realize what they had done?

It might have been a look, it might have been a word, it might have been an action. But suddenly you found yourself lost at sea. Your mainsail ripped to shreds, feeling damaged and rudderless.

On the flip side, have you ever had someone make a comment, or touch you in a particular way that turned your world inside out in a great way? They set you on a new journey, a new destination that enabled you to step into, and use more of your potential?

Because you are a High-Performance Leader, a person who wants to have an impact in the world, there is never a small comment, an insignificant look, a passing glance. What you say and do can have a long and profound impact on others.

I remember my sister telling me about a conversation we had, that had caused her for years to feel insignificant and powerless. A conversation I don't even remember!

Are You Responsible for How Others Feel?

So, are you responsible for how others feel?


Heck no.


As I've said elsewhere, every person is responsible for his or her happiness. You have no control over how another person is going to react. So, give up trying to control others and their responses - you can't.


Each person must step above the line and take responsibility for how they respond to people and circumstances in their life.


However, having said that ...

Wouldn't you like the emotional wake you leave behind, to be one that inspires and ignites; rather than deflates and demoralizes?

Emotional Wake

My dominant intent is that the emotional wake I leave behind is 'feel good'.  Be it a loved one, a client, someone who has served me in the local supermarket. My strongest desire is that I am living my life as a message and not a warning, and that my vibe inspires and energizes others.


What about you? How do you want to show up each day?

Being Energizing Doesn't Mean Going Soft

Does that mean I never have tough conversations with people? That I let people, who are under-performing live below the line? Heck no!


One of the best leaders (Rick) I ever worked with was amazing at providing people with strong feedback about their performance. Yet you still walked away feeling good about yourself and your potential.


As a People and Culture Leader, I sat in a couple of meetings with him where we were de-selecting (sacking) someone, and the person was apologizing to him for letting him down!


I learned well from Rick. Now, I spend time looking for and focusing on the good that I see in this person. I ask myself questions like:

  • 'How can I share with them a different perspective, that might enable them to view their actions through a different lens, yet still uplifts them?'
  • 'How can I help them grow; while letting them know that they are perfect where they are?'

Do I get it right every time? Heck no. If only I were perfect.


I still at times find myself haranguing Connor (my daughter) about something, or giving her that look, (You know the one that says ...'you're a mess-up'). But, as often as I can (and those moments do come more regularly) I use the moment of choice concept.

Use The Moment of Choice

It is in the moment of choice that I have the opportunity to decide. Do I keep going down this path - hectoring, judging and misaligned with my true self? How will that make me and Connor feel?

Or, do I make a choice to realign, tune into my Power Source and be an uplifter an inspirer? To be a person and Mother who leaves an emotional wake that creates a story that enhances her and me?

When you make wise use of the moment of choice, you become more of who you truly are. It helps you to find the words, gestures, and body language that allows both you, and whomever you are interacting with, to be at their best.

Be Deliberate About Your Vibe

Be deliberate about the vibe you are sending. Make the decision that you are an uplifter. That your intent in every interaction is to leave an emotional wake that buoys not drowns.  


So, what emotional wake are you leaving behind? Use the moment of choice to be who you are meant to be. An uplifter and an inspiration to others. A leader who is making a positive dent in the universe. A leader, like Rick, who is a 'rockstar' in your industry

shelley-coach

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